Since this blogsite began, we've been hearing a lot about the upcoming St. Luke's Alumni Association Grand Reunion in July and about how exciting it is to be seeing each other after 30 years and everything. Several people have already committed to attending it and have unabashedly declared that they are looking forward to reconnecting with old friends. Well, why not? After all, reunions are great for revisiting the past and stirring up wonderful memories. As we get older, it is no surprise that we tend to be more nostalgic and are more interested in reminiscing.
A reunion, however, is also a time to reveal to old friends how we are currently doing and that could potentially send shivers up the spine of some folks who are not too confident about how well they measure up to their old classmates. Fear of being judged on appearance and life status come to full throttle and drive people into a panic. It can make one go bananas over an event that doesn't even last for more than a few hours. Questions come flooding in. OMG, what if they think I'm too fat? What should I wear? Will they think I'm a loser? What if no one remembers me? What if I don't recognize them? I have to lose weight. I gotta get a life. I gotta make a million dollars. Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!!
The reason why I thought perhaps we ought to talk about these anxieties that some of us might be experiencing is so that we can put it out in the open and realize that we're not the only one with reunion jitters therefore we can just relax, leave our anxieties at the door and have a marvelous time at the reunion. And for those who are fortunate not to have any problems with the reunion at all, perhaps it will be good to be aware and be sensitive to the fact that there are people that may be feeling anxious.
Let's start with the anxieties we may have with our appearance. It is not uncommon for people to call up Jenny Craig and want to get on a quick weight loss program prior to a reunion. Naturally, we want to look our best when we see people we haven't seen in decades, right? The thing that people don't realize is that they're probably thinking as though they were still in their twenties. It will be more helpful to keep in mind that everyone will be 30 years older now with a sluggish metabolism just like yours. Unless, they've had liposuctions or facelifts, almost everyone will have bulging waistlines, double chins, graying hair and a few wrinkles. There is nothing shameful about having changed. It's expected and it behooves everyone to celebrate those changes instead of trying to look the way we did at our graduation in 1978. It's okay to look like we're fifty-somethings because we are.
Most people think of reunions as a time to impress others so they think of ways to make their careers and lifestyles sound exciting and lucrative. But what if you didn't have the charmed life that you hoped to live? What if things didn't turn out the way you dreamed they would? Honestly, you know what, nobody cares. People don't like show-offs and braggarts anyway. People are there simply because they want to have a great time connecting with friends from their youth; and maybe enjoy feeling young again for a while. People want a rejuvenating experience, not one that dampens their spirits because they have been made to feel less fortunate than others.
What if you've had a falling out with some old classmates? You wonder about how you're going to handle seeing them again. I say you ought to just forget about the problems you had with those people and assume that everyone else has grown up along with you. Show up at the reunion prepared to share the mature, fun and friendly you. By the end of the evening, you'll be laughing with old friends about how silly it was that you stopped talking to each other.
So come July, have a good time with everybody. Even if we've each taken different paths in our lives, we still share that common bond with each other. We still are sisters at heart...all St. Luke's Daughters of Nightingale 1978.
A reunion, however, is also a time to reveal to old friends how we are currently doing and that could potentially send shivers up the spine of some folks who are not too confident about how well they measure up to their old classmates. Fear of being judged on appearance and life status come to full throttle and drive people into a panic. It can make one go bananas over an event that doesn't even last for more than a few hours. Questions come flooding in. OMG, what if they think I'm too fat? What should I wear? Will they think I'm a loser? What if no one remembers me? What if I don't recognize them? I have to lose weight. I gotta get a life. I gotta make a million dollars. Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!!
The reason why I thought perhaps we ought to talk about these anxieties that some of us might be experiencing is so that we can put it out in the open and realize that we're not the only one with reunion jitters therefore we can just relax, leave our anxieties at the door and have a marvelous time at the reunion. And for those who are fortunate not to have any problems with the reunion at all, perhaps it will be good to be aware and be sensitive to the fact that there are people that may be feeling anxious.
Let's start with the anxieties we may have with our appearance. It is not uncommon for people to call up Jenny Craig and want to get on a quick weight loss program prior to a reunion. Naturally, we want to look our best when we see people we haven't seen in decades, right? The thing that people don't realize is that they're probably thinking as though they were still in their twenties. It will be more helpful to keep in mind that everyone will be 30 years older now with a sluggish metabolism just like yours. Unless, they've had liposuctions or facelifts, almost everyone will have bulging waistlines, double chins, graying hair and a few wrinkles. There is nothing shameful about having changed. It's expected and it behooves everyone to celebrate those changes instead of trying to look the way we did at our graduation in 1978. It's okay to look like we're fifty-somethings because we are.
Most people think of reunions as a time to impress others so they think of ways to make their careers and lifestyles sound exciting and lucrative. But what if you didn't have the charmed life that you hoped to live? What if things didn't turn out the way you dreamed they would? Honestly, you know what, nobody cares. People don't like show-offs and braggarts anyway. People are there simply because they want to have a great time connecting with friends from their youth; and maybe enjoy feeling young again for a while. People want a rejuvenating experience, not one that dampens their spirits because they have been made to feel less fortunate than others.
What if you've had a falling out with some old classmates? You wonder about how you're going to handle seeing them again. I say you ought to just forget about the problems you had with those people and assume that everyone else has grown up along with you. Show up at the reunion prepared to share the mature, fun and friendly you. By the end of the evening, you'll be laughing with old friends about how silly it was that you stopped talking to each other.
So come July, have a good time with everybody. Even if we've each taken different paths in our lives, we still share that common bond with each other. We still are sisters at heart...all St. Luke's Daughters of Nightingale 1978.
5 comments:
I am so glad you put it out there for discussion and I certainly agree with you, Gee. I think the reunion is not about how we look at 5o plus, but rather how much we still cherish the bonds we developed at St. Luke's.
It would behoove us to come to the reunion just as we are - wrinkles, extra pounds and all. To me, these just show how much we are enjoying life to the hilt! Certainly beats the altenative!!!
So, instead of spending the money on Jenny Craig or 24-Hour Fitness just to "look good" for the reunion, let's spend it on a round-trip plane ticket to San Francisco.
Let us go and enjoy!!
Let's celebrate!!
Let us set aside all that hinders and all that drags us down, forgetting what's behind and looking forward to what is ahead--an exciting time of reconnecting, bonding and seeing everybody!!!
Let's just do it!!
Amen to that.
Gee2, that was a good commentary. I agree with you that almost everyone feels a little uneasy with reunions, especially dreading what one will say about another's appearance, success, accomplishments, failures, social status, etc. A healthy dose of fear and anxiety keeps us grounded, but unhealthy fear is paralyzing. It prevents one from experiencing the true meaning of reunions- friendships, rich relationships, amazing experiences, sharing joy and laughter. The truth is that everyone wrestles with some type of fear and anxiety, no matter how perfect or put together one may seem on the outside.
Always remember that God designed every person differently, with different personalities, different strength and weaknesses, different gifts and talents. Therefore , let us all be tolerant and sensitive towards each other during this reunion. Let us move past any fear of rejection, fear of being judged by others, fear of being called fat and wrinkeled, into the full acceptance found in friendships.
Amen...Amen...Amen to that too Oddie
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